Music. n 1: an artistic form of auditory communication incorporating instrumental or vocal tones in a structured and continuous manner 2: any agreeable (pleasing and harmonious) sounds.

Can that definition be any simpler and complex? Music is the universal language. It transcends all barriers created by ego, indifference and strife yet can also be fueled by it. In the most basic terms music is life. Many opinions are swirling regarding music's inception, but this is of no major importance. The truth is music is a living breathing entity all its own. It grabs one's soul and clings to it like a newborn to its mother, protecting and accepting therefore ultimately altering each individual forever. But what constitutes music you ask? Let's look at the second definition above. The word in that sentence that scares me the most is agreeable. Can music be as simple as a child slamming a spoon onto a pot? Or does a fifty piece orchestra have to be present? You see, that word used in that context can be akin to giving an arsonist a book of matches. He's going to burn everything in sight just because he can. Simply put, if you do not agree with what the majority considers "music" then you must be an idiot. Now we finally come to the subject at hand. I find that the majority of popular music polluting the airwaves, cd players, car stereos and television is nothing more than the business of making money. Scan the aural landscape and all you see is throwaway formulaic bands like trash littering up a freeway onramp. Flavors of the month that won't even last as long as the gas in their Escalade's tank. But like lemmings we throw ourselves over the side of the cliff without a second thought. How else can you explain American Idol's popularity?

But there is hope. Just beneath the surface a movement is in a constant state of eruption. I'm referring to the musical snob. The one who takes their music seriously. Doesn't settle for the quick fix. Always on the prowl for that hidden diamond in a haystack full of cow shit. To become a musical snob one must turn a deaf ear to the mass production of tripe being burned onto disc by the devil himself. This is what this list is for. A travel companion to guide you through the stormy shark infested waters of the musical mainstream. So cinch on your life jacket, take your Dramamine and try not to fall out of the boat.

*A word regarding this list. This is a list in four parts. Albums by bands like The Beatles, Marvin Gaye, etc. have been omitted. For these are considered staples in any well rounded musical collection. So don't bitch if you don't see Dark Side of the Moon on here, since it's just a given. This is not to be considered a top 100 either. These are just 100 albums every snob should own.

The Stooges: LP
The year is 1969. It's the height of the psychedelic era. Jimi Hendrix, the Grateful Dead all flowing and dropping hits. Out of the sewers of New York come The Stooges. Listen to this album and think, "it's 1969". Unbelievable. One of the precursors of the late seventies punk movement, Iggy and Co. were lighting a fire underneath every man, woman and child wearing tye dye. If you doubt me, just listen to "I Wanna Be Your Dog" for proof. Album after album, they delivered high power raucous tunes from beneath the grime. And if your only experience of this band and its front man is from commercials, then just stop reading right now and go buy the new album from Weezer. You are not ready. Put this on 10 and get dirty.

Dead Can Dance: The Serpent's Egg
Brendan Perry and Lisa Gerrard somehow managed to tap into a well of sound so ethereal, one wonders if they have shifted into a land where angels and other unworldly creatures dwell. DCD's collective body of work is so amazing it was hard to choose just one. But "The Host of Seraphim" made it a bit easier. This is the song I want played at my funeral. Perry's sonorous moaning completely compliments Gerrard's wafting wails. Listen to this and ponder the existence of all beings. You're bound to discover you are exactly where you should be.

Deathray Davies: Return Of The Drunk Ventriloquist
Take a bit of 60's early British rock (Small Faces, Cream) add a splash of The Jam and a twist of The Fleshtones. Dump all the contents into a fuzzy garage and pour. Best served with a dance floor chaser. A sure fire way to beat the dredge that is Rap-rock. No filler here, just pure ice cold fun. Check out "Square" and "Evaporated" to quench your thirst. The best thing to come out of Texas since, well I'll get back to you.

Ryuichi Sakamoto: Beauty
From the days of the Yellow Magic Orchestra mastermind Sakamoto throws many musical styles (dance, world, traditional, pop etc.) into a large pot and comes out with a stew so delectable, even Gandhi couldn't turn it down. Whether you are strolling through a Zen garden (Chinsagu No Hana) or just watching life unfold before you (Rose Music), Beauty has all the trappings of an album to ease your musical palette. It's too bad the members of Hoobastank have no fucking clue.

Bjork: Post
What? But Bjork's popular you say? I suppose, but this is my list so I can do what I want. I wish I had a dollar for everyone who stated they hated Bjork. I would be a rich man. Avoiding all conventional categories, this Icelandic wunderkind just has to sing over a metronome and I am transported to a land where even the glaciers sway. Let's just throw away the cover of "It's Oh So Quiet". Ok now we have a great record. "Hyper-Ballad's" contemplative visuals draws you in and "Isobel" pins you down and doesn't let you up until you are overwhelmed with joy. Thank god there's nothing to do in Iceland.

Talk Talk: The Colour of Spring
Ok let's just try to forget the butchering Ms. Stefani did to one of their songs and move on. Mark Hollis and company create a garden of lush sounds and melodies it's easy to believe this entire album was recorded barefoot lying in the grass. "Happiness is Easy" opens the album with a soothing bass line easing you into the album effortlessly. Before you know it, you're grooving to the tones wafting through the air like a butterfly on a leisurely journey. The piano in "Life's What You Make It" takes over bass duties and softly hammers the point home. Introspective as well as extroverted, Mr. Hollis just makes it seem so simple. Easy indeed.

X: Wild Gift
Emerging out of the early 80's punk scene X was much more talented then their punk brethren. Poet Exene Cervenka and John Doe's slightly off key harmonies somehow add the missing ingredient into the mixture of pop punk and pure rock and roll. Similarities to Beefheart and the Ramones cannot go unnoticed, but with lyrics like "I'll replace your drunk old man" (White Girl) it's suffice to say they have lyrically matured from the first album. "When Our Love Passed Out On The Couch" exemplifies what everyone has felt when a relationship goes sour. Get out your Docs and skank around the couch as the neighbors downstairs call the cops.

XTC: Nonsuch
It was inevitable that an XTC record was going to show up on this list. No band since the Beatles has captured the ability to blend such a myriad of styles. From jazz to pop, to soul, to blues XTC paints a vivid picture on every song. Lyrical storytellers, messers Partridge and Moulding weave words so effortlessly it's almost a crime. "My Bird Performs" takes flight and from that point on you are soaring over lush green pastures filled with whimsy and happiness. That is until the piano laden "Rook" lands on your shoulder whispering words of mortality in your ear. But like all childhood fears that dissipate at the sun's rising, "Holly Up On Poppy" throws you up on the pony and off you go chasing your innocence. "Books Are Burning" should be a part of every creative writing and language class curriculum. The best band you've never heard. Make sure you change that.

Ben Harper: The Will To Live
Ok, fine. The folk singer comparisons are somewhat justified, but there is so much more to Ben Harper. Blues, jazz, funk and even shades of rock tumble down the hillside into your waiting ears. There's no point in singling out any particular track here since the entire piece should be taken as a whole. A point to remember. He's not Lenny Kravitz. Just another sad example of the industry as well as the masses that backed the wrong horse. Longevity is the key here folks. Mr. Harper will be making beautiful music long after Lenny's contract with the Gap has expired.

David Sylvian: Dead Bees on A Cake
David Sylvian inexorably grabs you by the psyche and glides you through a forest of sound and emotion that's had four years to grow. The album opens with "I Surrender", in essence asking you to do the same. With lyrics born from love realized, you can't help but feel his acceptance. Backed by phenomenal percussionist Steve Jansen, this track thumps like a heartbeat. Ethereal and always smooth, David Sylvian paints the canvas with colors so subtle, before you know it you are covered in pastel and earth tones. The former boy of Japan makes good.

Kraftwerk: Trans Europe Express
The grandfathers of the electronic musical sound. I won't use the term techno, because that reminds me of glow-stick waving oj drinking velvet feeling ravers. Kraftwerk is nothing like this. Although without them 80's rappers would have nothing to sample, ravers nothing to 'feel' to, and Depeche Mode would have still been just a French term. Straight from the fatherland these boys have been a major influence since the mid-seventies. Who else can create an entire song about a train clickty-clacking over a track and make it thump out of your speakers. You cannot go wrong with any Kraftwerk album, but this is a good place to start. The conductor has called your number. Get a drink at the bar car, sit back and watch the hills roll by.

Jeff Buckley: Grace
Sometimes an artist comes along and from the moment you her the first note, you are immediately enthralled. This is Jeff Buckley. An epic album in scope and raw emotion, Buckley throws himself headlong into each and every lyric, chord change and style. Grace is the full length debut from an artist taken from the earth much too soon. Pouring himself into each song you cannot escape the realism in his voice. The longing of "Lover, You Should Have Come Over" is a melancholy tune on the surface, but look underneath and you find a man stripped bare of all pretense and just says simply what he feels. This form of honesty is now a lost art in music today. Maybe his death will teach somebody something. One can always hope.

Cocteau Twins: Treasure
Elizabeth Fraser is not of this world. At least after hearing her stunning voice one imagines her homeland as nothing but light and chimes. The Cocteau Twins have a sound all their own. Three members create a sound some bands with ten could never do. The biggest problem people have with them is the singer herself. "I can't understand her" For you see, Fraser mixes quite a few languages in each song and rolls them all into one choral harmony. The point is not to try and hear words, but listen to her waft over slowly jangling guitars and think of her as just another instrument. When this is achieved then pure musical bliss is sure to follow. Breathy yet powerful, she commands for all to listen. Please do, just not with your head.

The Clash: London Calling
Forget the rules. Forget convention. Forget anything you've ever known about Punk, Reggae, Pop, Jazz, etc. This record spans all those genres. A must own for every snobs collection. Loud, fast, funky, powerful and straight from the political hip, The Clash are straight shooters. They will tell you what's wrong then ask why the fuck are you just sitting there. So get off your Good Charlotte loving ass and see how it's supposed to be done.

Miles Davis: Panthalasa
Not much to say here except.....WOW! There is nothing else you can say or need to. A trail blazer for the new jazz of it's time and he's running hot on all cylinders. Not for the rookie lest you don't mind getting burned.



Bauhaus: Mask
I hate the term Goth. It just lumps everyone who wears black into the same brooding category. By that definition Avril Levine is Goth. Bauhaus is much more than the sum of its parts. With sparse atmospheric guitars, haunting vocals and syncopated rhythms Bauhaus has one foot in the graveyard and the other in the land of Ziggy Stardust. I can't imagine "Hollow Hills", a song about fairy hills and what happens to unsuspecting human travelers who wander into them; ever being played on the radio. With a passion for the minimalistic, Bauhaus somehow manages to create a sound that fills your head with visions of dancing skeletons, and wailing banshees across the moors. Listen with the lights off if you dare.

Dumptruck: Positively
Where REM couldn't seem to go (Shiny Happy People?...please), Dumptruck did it with no fanfare and very little public backing. A great album for the pure pleasure of knowing you are listening to a band much more entertaining than any one band to come out of the south in the late eighties and early nineties. "Nine People explains the awkwardness when the conversation dies down at a party. Every track in this cut is worth about fifteen REM songs. Again the musical machine didn't even notice who was a better band....I guess they picked the wrong one once again. The masses were losing more than their religion by letting this rumbling truck go by without even a passing glance. Well the light is red now, so get out and look at the interior of this fine machine.

Gang Of Four: Entertainment
With buzz saw guitars and very political vocals, The Gang Of Four head up the No Wave movement of the late seventies and early eighties. Andy Gill and company tear their way through all subject matter with a controlled angular abandon. Jerky and funky, GoF has been a major influence on many bands, and rightfully so. They deserve their place in the sun. So line up at the firing squad and shoot to kill all who oppose.

Jellyfish: Bellybutton
These guys were born in the wrong era. Pop music heavily dosed with 60's style psychedelia the band's four part harmonies and catchy melodies just feel good even on a rainy day. The Beatles influence is inevitable, but do not let that distract you from the fun. Grab a paintbrush and flower up your boom box.

This Mortal Coil: Filigree And Shadow
Flowing out of the speakers like smoke, This Mortal Coil is a compilation of artists from the 4AD label. A marriage of artist has never sounded so arresting. With songs like "Strength of Strings" and "Velvet Belly", it's no wonder good music always goes unnoticed. It just does not fit a mass market category. Surrealistic throughout this album leaves you wanting more, even though it's 20 glorious songs. Like a ghost kissing your cheek, you feel a sense of being but can't explain it. Don't, just embrace it.

Laurie Anderson: Big Science
A true test of snobbery is this album from performance artist Anderson. Riddled with minimal melodies and vocalizations of airplane etiquette (From The Air), it's truly and acquired taste. But fear not my avant garde aviators, with the proper ear, this too will grow on you until you are singing along with each song feeling like a Art School superhero. So break out your philosophy book and toss it in the trash. On this flight you won't need it.

The Creatures: Boomerang
Siouxsie Sioux and drummer Budgie were mucking about in the studio one day and had an idea. Let's make a record just the two of us. They did just that. With Siouxsie's haunting vocals and Budgie's jungle style beats, The Creatures were born. With this being their second release the jungle has grown a bit wilder and other instruments were added. Still true to the original formula, this is the vision realized perfectly. All other albums in their library should be held up for scrutiny next to this masterpiece in vocal pipes and percussion. Bang away kids.

Suburban Lawns: 1st
The year is 1981 and Su Tissue and the Suburban Lawns are in the midst of the L.A. punk invasion. Using more of a pop punk style the Lawns had a sense of humor and intelligence most bands of that era did not. Songs like "Flying Saucer Safari" and "Janitor" became huge show favorites. Very musically inclined for a punk band, the S.L. managed to only sneeze out two albums before disbanding in 1983. This recording may be hard to come by, but who said finding good music was easy.

Very soon, part II.